screw up

So I feel like a complete and total screw up. I thought I was doing a great thing, helping out and getting things done quickly, I wasn't cutting corners, I wasn't skimming through, I was doing my job and working fast. I didn't miss anything that would be glaring or obvious, but my client is saying that I let some really glaringly wrong errors through.
It couldn't have been me, there is no way I would have let some of those things through, even if I was drunk (which I most assuredly was not) I wouldn't have let those things through. But their system says it was me and those things got through somehow.
I don't know whether to be angry or cry right now. I seriously backchecked myself when I found out there were problems, and there are some that were approved when I wasn't even logged in to my computer, much less working.
This really sucks.
The past 2 weeks = FAIL

I surrender

I give up
you win
fuck
just leave me alone in my miserable self pity party.
I suck
I'm a terrible bitch and why would anyone want to be around me or talk to me
I'm sorry I'm taking my misery out on the people around me
I'm sorry I can't talk to anyone who will show me empathy or just give me a hug when I need one
you win
now go away and let me be a sad bitch by my self
go somewhere I cant take my pain out on you
you win
I hope you are happy

earth quake

So I was sitting at my desk working on a few of my accounts when the world started shaking. It really was the weirdest thing, I have never felt anything like it before in my life. I for the first time ever, was experiencing an earthquake.
the epicenter was about 35 miles from my house and the magnitude was a 4.9. craziness.
I used to stay with my grandma for a couple of weeks in southern california every summer, and never once did I feel an earth quake. Now, living in utah, I feel one. go figure

silly husband

So my darling husband whom I love more than anything stumbled across an instant message I had written to my best friend venting about a little frustration I have.
Now, if you know me, you know I have a tendency to embellish when I am telling a story or venting about something to either make it obvious that I know I'm being a baby and venting or to make the story funnier/more entertaining. I guess he doesn't know that about me.
What I said about him wasn't kind, I deflated his masculinity by pointing out he isn't so good at household tasks like minor fixings (plumbing and minor repairs fall on my shoulders as a general rule). Heck, I don't know if he isn't good at that stuff even, I only know he never does those things.
I also talked about my not wanting to take the grilling away from him cause thats one of his "masculine things" that I didn't want to take away from him.
In my defense, I was frustrated and feeling in a funk and I vent to my sister in law/best friend so I don't end up in a fight with him over stupid things. It's much easier that way. These things that I vent to her about are not things that are a big deal to me, they are just minor annoyances that when I'm in a funk or life becomes overwhelming, I need to get off my chest and out of my system, NOT things that I actually need changed. Yes, I get frustrated with him when I am working or trying to watch a show and he says something random and expects an answer (he does this frequently, and it's not just once or twice a night it is constantly and he feels neglected if I'm not paying attention to him) yes, I don't like discussing the tv show he is watching in the other room while I am focused on something else. But, is it a big deal? NO. Do I want to stop talking to him? Absolutely not. Does it piss me off sometimes and I need to vent? Yeppers.
Yes, maybe I shouldn't vent where he might "accidentally" stumble across it. Did I hurt his feelings? Seems that way cause he is obviously not happy with me and went to bed early without saying goodnight. Am I sorry I said something that upset him? Sure, I would be a jerk if I didn't. I HATE hurting my husband's feelings, I LOVE HIM. Duh
In my opinion though, reading someone's personal IMs is like going through their texts or listening in on a conversation. It's an invasion of privacy, you may not want to hear what is being said, and the person you are eavesdropping on is guaranteed to get pissed off to find you lurking around the corner. Silly man